Dawn: "I've never been a bridesmaid."
Saro: "Neither have I."
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sleep Credit
Well, I must've had a sleep credit due to my many days sleeping in lately, because last night I went to sleep at 1:15am and woke up at 5:13am totally wired and ready for a new day. I've never heard of a sleep credit, but if there's such a thing as a sleep debt, where you can take a nap to compensate for previous missed sleep, then there must be sleep credits, and Lord knows I have been racking them up. So what better time to spend them than Monday morning?
In other news, my mom totally rocks. She got the matching night table that goes with my dresser for me yesterday. I am now the proud owner of a new beautiful bed and mattress and a matching furniture set. How fun is that. Ok, it's still early so I am climbing back into said bed to watch Gilmore Girls. Goodnight, er...good morning...
In other news, my mom totally rocks. She got the matching night table that goes with my dresser for me yesterday. I am now the proud owner of a new beautiful bed and mattress and a matching furniture set. How fun is that. Ok, it's still early so I am climbing back into said bed to watch Gilmore Girls. Goodnight, er...good morning...
Saturday, January 28, 2006
the Frustration of Furniture
My mom and I spent some quality time looking online for furniture today. It's really hard to find things that aren't ultra-modern, a la Ikea, or country white or the awful "mission" style. It seems like there are only 3 kinds of furniture available in the world. Argh. I think I have settled on a new functional piece for my TV, but that's about it. I tried and I have failed and I accept my defeat.
Lovesick
I thought about calling you when I got off the plane
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do
By now I figured you had all your numbers changed
It's been at least a year since I called you up to say
We need to talk I got this job and I think I'm going to take it
Cause I been waiting all my life
For a break like this
It's my chance of a lifetime I just know it is
I gotta go find these dreams
Was the last thing that I said
And then I did
I can see clear to the mountains as I head up our old street
I remember how we'd call in sick on days like these
And turn the music up roll the windows down and just drive
You talked me outta givin' up on myself so many times
Convinced me to get in while I could regrets hang heavy on the mind
But you never doubted me you kept pushing me
Saying you've been waiting all your life for a break like this
It's your chance of a lifetime you just know it is
You gotta go find those dreams
Was the last thing that you said
And then I did
But you were wrong
Love was what I wanted all along
And now you're gone
I thought about calling you when I got off the plane
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way
But you were wrong
Love was what I wanted all along
-Rascall Flatts
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do
By now I figured you had all your numbers changed
It's been at least a year since I called you up to say
We need to talk I got this job and I think I'm going to take it
Cause I been waiting all my life
For a break like this
It's my chance of a lifetime I just know it is
I gotta go find these dreams
Was the last thing that I said
And then I did
I can see clear to the mountains as I head up our old street
I remember how we'd call in sick on days like these
And turn the music up roll the windows down and just drive
You talked me outta givin' up on myself so many times
Convinced me to get in while I could regrets hang heavy on the mind
But you never doubted me you kept pushing me
Saying you've been waiting all your life for a break like this
It's your chance of a lifetime you just know it is
You gotta go find those dreams
Was the last thing that you said
And then I did
But you were wrong
Love was what I wanted all along
And now you're gone
I thought about calling you when I got off the plane
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way
But you were wrong
Love was what I wanted all along
-Rascall Flatts
Friday, January 27, 2006
Better than bad
...is good.
I'm good. I have been unemployed for short periods in the past and being unemployed used to be a frustrating experience for me. But this fall and winter, blessings come in unidentified packages. I can get upset, frustrated and depressed over having largely nothing to do, but after getting in a very painful skiing accident, I can now spend time relaxing on the couch, reading and whatnot, and I feel fine about it. Because hey, being unemployed has its challenges, but those challenges are nothing like not being able to walk, sit or even leave the house. All of which I couldn't do for the first two weeks of this year. I feel like God wanted to teach me a lesson about appreciating what I have and it is this. Now that I am mostly back on my feet, and can walk, sit and even drive when I need to, mostly without pain, I realize how much health is, what a gift it is.
I'm good. I have been unemployed for short periods in the past and being unemployed used to be a frustrating experience for me. But this fall and winter, blessings come in unidentified packages. I can get upset, frustrated and depressed over having largely nothing to do, but after getting in a very painful skiing accident, I can now spend time relaxing on the couch, reading and whatnot, and I feel fine about it. Because hey, being unemployed has its challenges, but those challenges are nothing like not being able to walk, sit or even leave the house. All of which I couldn't do for the first two weeks of this year. I feel like God wanted to teach me a lesson about appreciating what I have and it is this. Now that I am mostly back on my feet, and can walk, sit and even drive when I need to, mostly without pain, I realize how much health is, what a gift it is.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
End of the Spear
Wow, there are so many movies out right now that I don't really want to see, I am amazed we found one I did want to see. End of the Spear didn't disappoint either. I was steeling myself for it to be too factual and skipping the need for movie drama while telling the story of the Waodani and the missionaries they killed in 1956. But it was a wonderful mix of storytelling to honor the true story and storytelling that created a good storyline for a movie. There were no slow spots, or overly cheesy pictorials of the men as holy heroes. I actually said at one point, "They remind me of the goofy guys in Crusade." I think even though I read the book, I didn't realize how young they were, like my missionary friends who are exuberant about life in Christ. I especially liked how the story was told from the perspective of the tribal leader and via voiceover from Nate Saint's young son. It clarified how that meeting on the beach was truly a horrible misunderstanding due to the missionaries inability to communicate and the Waodani's culture of killing. I thought the movie did a good job of identifiying the situation as squarely a result of cultural misunderstanding and not one side's "fault" or the other's.
Here is a discussion on the movie I found interesting. I like what the last guy says, so keep reading all the way to the end and let me know what you think in the comments section.
This movie is MISSING the point
by - mikehsc 1 day ago (Tue Jan 24 2006 22:23:42 )
As a Christian who knows many missionaries, I found the characters in this film to have strangely ambiguous motivation and faith. The story comes off more like simplistic-humanism (can't we all just love each other?) rather than a portrait of ordinary people driven by the extraordinary, selfless love of Christ. It's too bad that the filmmakers tried so hard to make this story "mainstream" that they betrayed the inner music of these incredible missionaries.
They should have taken courage lessons from Mel Gibson.
The producers of "End of the Spear" are marketing this film to Christians, even though they've blatantly stripped away its inherent Christian message (as if we'll eat up anything thrown at us.) Well, I for one am not biting.
Just because the story is “about” Christians, doesn’t mean it’s a Christian move.
This film is missing the one essential ingredient needed to tell this story accurately ... Jesus Christ.
Re: This movie is MISSING the point
by - bealsj 1 day ago (Wed Jan 25 2006 07:33:26 )
would you rather have a movie that only christians will like, and thus puts off many who would otherwise find the story interesting?
mel gibson made a movie about christ, you cant downplay the christianity in that movie, because its ABOUT that. but this movie can, and was, made in such a way that the central themes were made accessible to anyone.
as a non-christian i find it funny that many christians think that being subtle is a bad thing.
Re: This movie is MISSING the point
by - zoller9 1 hour ago (Thu Jan 26 2006 09:25:41 )
Mike, you're missing the point! bealsj is right, subtlety is not a bad thing; but this movie isn't really even that subtle as such. Rather, it's something other than a gospel tract. It is pretty faithful telling of a true story. The detail of the gospel message is not explicitly given in a cognitive verbal fashion - but how wonderfully it is given in a symbolic way! Those missionaries literally laid down their lives for the Waodani, and it was a redemptive act. They are not Jesus, of course, but they echo his work, and he honored theirs. All this is plain in the story, and it reaches the heart.
And the one time the gospel is expressed verbally, it is in the mouth of a Waodani character, and in the culturally understandable images of that people. Is that a case of muting the gospel for commercial accessibility? I submit rather that it is a story telling choice that underscores the transcultural value of Christian faith. In fact, it is the nature of the Incarnation that God meets us where we are, in the midst of our own unique and messy circumstances.
Here's a question: why did Jesus teach so much with parables? and do so little theology in an abstract or simply cognitive manner? I think it is because the truth needs to reach not only our minds, but more significantly our hearts. In using elements of common human experience we are invited to connect truth to our own lives, and to see it in things around us. Jesus used all these agricultural pictures to teach about his kingdom, and if you spend any time gardening in a reflective way, you can find truth being underlined in your experience.
Similarly, this movie has much to which everyone can connect: fear, loss, anger, the struggle for control, forgiveness, trying to the right thing when outcomes are unclear- there are many places for us to see ourselves in the story. I know I found myself in tears at the end, not in vague sentimentality, but thinking of the meaning of my own life, choices I have made, and choices I have yet to make.
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." That, I think is the unspoken, but clear, message of this film.
Here is a discussion on the movie I found interesting. I like what the last guy says, so keep reading all the way to the end and let me know what you think in the comments section.
This movie is MISSING the point
by - mikehsc 1 day ago (Tue Jan 24 2006 22:23:42 )
As a Christian who knows many missionaries, I found the characters in this film to have strangely ambiguous motivation and faith. The story comes off more like simplistic-humanism (can't we all just love each other?) rather than a portrait of ordinary people driven by the extraordinary, selfless love of Christ. It's too bad that the filmmakers tried so hard to make this story "mainstream" that they betrayed the inner music of these incredible missionaries.
They should have taken courage lessons from Mel Gibson.
The producers of "End of the Spear" are marketing this film to Christians, even though they've blatantly stripped away its inherent Christian message (as if we'll eat up anything thrown at us.) Well, I for one am not biting.
Just because the story is “about” Christians, doesn’t mean it’s a Christian move.
This film is missing the one essential ingredient needed to tell this story accurately ... Jesus Christ.
Re: This movie is MISSING the point
by - bealsj 1 day ago (Wed Jan 25 2006 07:33:26 )
would you rather have a movie that only christians will like, and thus puts off many who would otherwise find the story interesting?
mel gibson made a movie about christ, you cant downplay the christianity in that movie, because its ABOUT that. but this movie can, and was, made in such a way that the central themes were made accessible to anyone.
as a non-christian i find it funny that many christians think that being subtle is a bad thing.
Re: This movie is MISSING the point
by - zoller9 1 hour ago (Thu Jan 26 2006 09:25:41 )
Mike, you're missing the point! bealsj is right, subtlety is not a bad thing; but this movie isn't really even that subtle as such. Rather, it's something other than a gospel tract. It is pretty faithful telling of a true story. The detail of the gospel message is not explicitly given in a cognitive verbal fashion - but how wonderfully it is given in a symbolic way! Those missionaries literally laid down their lives for the Waodani, and it was a redemptive act. They are not Jesus, of course, but they echo his work, and he honored theirs. All this is plain in the story, and it reaches the heart.
And the one time the gospel is expressed verbally, it is in the mouth of a Waodani character, and in the culturally understandable images of that people. Is that a case of muting the gospel for commercial accessibility? I submit rather that it is a story telling choice that underscores the transcultural value of Christian faith. In fact, it is the nature of the Incarnation that God meets us where we are, in the midst of our own unique and messy circumstances.
Here's a question: why did Jesus teach so much with parables? and do so little theology in an abstract or simply cognitive manner? I think it is because the truth needs to reach not only our minds, but more significantly our hearts. In using elements of common human experience we are invited to connect truth to our own lives, and to see it in things around us. Jesus used all these agricultural pictures to teach about his kingdom, and if you spend any time gardening in a reflective way, you can find truth being underlined in your experience.
Similarly, this movie has much to which everyone can connect: fear, loss, anger, the struggle for control, forgiveness, trying to the right thing when outcomes are unclear- there are many places for us to see ourselves in the story. I know I found myself in tears at the end, not in vague sentimentality, but thinking of the meaning of my own life, choices I have made, and choices I have yet to make.
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." That, I think is the unspoken, but clear, message of this film.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My nose is cold
My nose is cold. I hate that.
In other news, I'm about to begin a week of DNF joy! Catch ya on the flipside.
In other news, I'm about to begin a week of DNF joy! Catch ya on the flipside.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saving
I remember being a girl and whenever I would get new clothes, I would think about saving the clothes for a "special" occasion. I think I had become the same way with money before this past October. And then something happened. I think I just got tired of waiting for someday and realized that all of our resources are meant to be used. God intends for us to invest them out in life, into people, into taking risks that might flop (which mine did) and the point is not the one special day at the end of my life when I'll be wearing that great outfit that I've saved and finally take that big risk and jump out into doing what I am meant to do. The point is today. The point is everyday from now until my death, to make sure the resources I have, my love and my energy and my clothes and my money are serving me so I can serve and do what God wants me to do. And what does He want me to do? I think first and foremost, He wants me to LIVE. (Because I am lush.) I am a vibrant person and sometimes I forget all the hope that lies before me and I let my life flicker or wane and I can't. I can't let myself be extinguished by the crimes that have been done to me. I can't let myself be dampened by the lies that have been told to me. And beyond living, I think I am called to sound the trumpet that calls people to worship. I am prophetic and compassionate, and I know the real God who never needed His own licensed merchandise, so for me that means not kicking anyone off the road towards heaven and trying, when the moment presents itself, to help people around me when their lives are getting obliterated, who are slipping off that road. I am called to love them until they can love themselves back into loving Jesus. That is my calling.
And can someone please search Monster for the job that fits these skills? Cause I want to work. Thanks.
And can someone please search Monster for the job that fits these skills? Cause I want to work. Thanks.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Home alone, home alone - jiggity jig
Well, the good news is that my hip is healing. I don't have the chronic spasms and pain anymore, just a funny twitching when I sit for too long and it wakes me up in the middle of the night. But now my neck is coming into play. Since I've been sitting on one hip for so long, my back is all twisted up and starting to ache, and my neck never really got much treatment since being in the collar.
I am home alone for tonight and tomorrow night which is an odd experience. I think we are meant to live with people. And right now while being unemployed, I don't really get out of the house anyway, so I feel like I'm just living alone inside the box of my house for hours on end. It's a little "Lost in Translation"-esque and not really my cup of tea. But it tests my endurance and my resourcefulness to entertain myself and that can't be all bad.
I am home alone for tonight and tomorrow night which is an odd experience. I think we are meant to live with people. And right now while being unemployed, I don't really get out of the house anyway, so I feel like I'm just living alone inside the box of my house for hours on end. It's a little "Lost in Translation"-esque and not really my cup of tea. But it tests my endurance and my resourcefulness to entertain myself and that can't be all bad.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
I love my home
I know how prosaic it is to love one's home, but I really do love my home. I didn't really have a stationary home for most of my life, so I love my home now. And that's saying a lot after 16 days spent mostly on the couch watching the Gilmore girls and the West Wing on DVD. Although, I am getting better and did put my cute outfit to good use today helping my mom shop for work clothes. And right near the cash register she scored a beautiful blue suede jacket for 40 bucks. I almost scored one myself before I remembered that I am unemployed and without health insurance and just netted myself a lot of medical bills due to the skiing accident that knocked me on my butt for a month. C'est la vie. But tonight, I had had a good moderately tiring day and then spent the evening in ambient lighting watching the West Wing season wrap-up under a blanket and it was lovely. Our Christmas tree is still up, because we are celebrating right through the end of January and nothing is better in the mildest of California winters than pretending 60 degrees is cold weather and curling up for some down time.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I'm broke
And the triple entendre here is that I am actually (financially) broke, plus my body is "broke" and if you know me well at all, you know my mind is definitely and permanently broke.
Hope you enjoyed a laugh on my dime.
So yes, getting better takes a lot longer than I would ever want it to. I keep receiving huge bills in the mail and laughing because I can't work, or even sit for more than 30 minutes upright, and they think I am going to just write them checks for thousands of dollars. Lucky for me, I am the "deserving poor" and I am availing myself of the societal systems which all my Republican friends say are supposed to help me. One, community hospital ER fees paid by my previous tax contributions. Two, my rich benefactors. Three, praying in public places for help from on high. And four, the almighty credit system in America, where I will contribute credit card interest to my preferred bank in exchange for the "freedom" to pay over time.
You know, I would just like to go on record in saying that I have never held unsecured debt before in my life and I followed all those wise financial management books that said to keep 3-6 months of expenses in an easily accessible account. And yet, for an entire year I didn't touch a dime of the money, and now, in my hour of need, it has already been halved and the half that's left is bleeding out of me for medical expenses. How's that for irony?
Hope you enjoyed a laugh on my dime.
So yes, getting better takes a lot longer than I would ever want it to. I keep receiving huge bills in the mail and laughing because I can't work, or even sit for more than 30 minutes upright, and they think I am going to just write them checks for thousands of dollars. Lucky for me, I am the "deserving poor" and I am availing myself of the societal systems which all my Republican friends say are supposed to help me. One, community hospital ER fees paid by my previous tax contributions. Two, my rich benefactors. Three, praying in public places for help from on high. And four, the almighty credit system in America, where I will contribute credit card interest to my preferred bank in exchange for the "freedom" to pay over time.
You know, I would just like to go on record in saying that I have never held unsecured debt before in my life and I followed all those wise financial management books that said to keep 3-6 months of expenses in an easily accessible account. And yet, for an entire year I didn't touch a dime of the money, and now, in my hour of need, it has already been halved and the half that's left is bleeding out of me for medical expenses. How's that for irony?
Monday, January 09, 2006
the Healing Process
Thank God for physical therapy! My hip has been killing me, especially Saturday night and Sunday, but after going to physical therapy today, I feel like I'm on my way back to being able to run, or at least walk, without pain. I have 3 more weeks to go, but when I feel better, I am motivated to keep going.
In other news: I am looking forward to watching the Bachelor:Paris tonight, since I have watched Gilmore Girls season 5 twice through in addition to every movie we have in the house. Sitting on the couch all day gets to be a real drag after a week, so I'm looking forward to something new.
In other news: I am looking forward to watching the Bachelor:Paris tonight, since I have watched Gilmore Girls season 5 twice through in addition to every movie we have in the house. Sitting on the couch all day gets to be a real drag after a week, so I'm looking forward to something new.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Quote of the Day - according to Ann
"Being a successful and healthy human being is the best evangelism there is. "
- Dawn
- Dawn
Crossing the Threshold of 2005/2006
I'm a dweller on the threshold...and I'm waiting at the door...
Ok, I just had to sing, but I have already bored you with another blog devoted to this great song. Today's act will be performed by the things, people, places and events that have shaped me, loved me, kicked me and danced with me in the year that was 2005.
Top 5 Things I Will Miss About 2005:
5. '05 is so easy to remember when you are writing checks.
4. Laughing at the insanity on the wedding circuit.
3. Fantastic dates! (Too numerous to list here, but know you are remembered.)
2. The day we got to eat 5 free desserts at Panera due to Eric's generosity.
And the #1 thing I will miss about 2005...
...being Kevin's friend.
Top 5 Things I Will Not Miss About 2005:
5. Skiing accidents (as of Dec. 29th, I might add).
4. MetLife.
3. Loma Linda University in all their incompetent glory.
2. Bridezillas!
And the #1 thing I will not miss about 2005...
...my crazy fall and winter, wherein I:
-got ripped off by my school for thousands of dollars
-dropped out of grad school,
-blew out a tire on my way out to Palm Desert for Thanksgiving,
-moved over Thanksgiving weekend,
-worked at a boring short-term job
-was unemployed
-got depressed and became a mental patient
-ate my Christmas dinner in the kitchen and came home sobbing
-got in a skiing accident (and probably racked up a huge hospital bill)
-and spent New Years' Eve on the couch unable to move.
Now, I know it's a shocker, but I will not miss any of that.
Happy New Year everyone!
Ok, I just had to sing, but I have already bored you with another blog devoted to this great song. Today's act will be performed by the things, people, places and events that have shaped me, loved me, kicked me and danced with me in the year that was 2005.
Top 5 Things I Will Miss About 2005:
5. '05 is so easy to remember when you are writing checks.
4. Laughing at the insanity on the wedding circuit.
3. Fantastic dates! (Too numerous to list here, but know you are remembered.)
2. The day we got to eat 5 free desserts at Panera due to Eric's generosity.
And the #1 thing I will miss about 2005...
...being Kevin's friend.
Top 5 Things I Will Not Miss About 2005:
5. Skiing accidents (as of Dec. 29th, I might add).
4. MetLife.
3. Loma Linda University in all their incompetent glory.
2. Bridezillas!
And the #1 thing I will not miss about 2005...
...my crazy fall and winter, wherein I:
-got ripped off by my school for thousands of dollars
-dropped out of grad school,
-blew out a tire on my way out to Palm Desert for Thanksgiving,
-moved over Thanksgiving weekend,
-worked at a boring short-term job
-was unemployed
-got depressed and became a mental patient
-ate my Christmas dinner in the kitchen and came home sobbing
-got in a skiing accident (and probably racked up a huge hospital bill)
-and spent New Years' Eve on the couch unable to move.
Now, I know it's a shocker, but I will not miss any of that.
Happy New Year everyone!
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