The Journey of Unemployment

So, I cried for about an hour, mostly from shock. And then I got over it. And then my mom and I went out to dinner at Wood Ranch, which was delicious. And it's situations like this that make you realize how many dumb times a day annoying perky people say dumb things like, How are you? without really meaning it. Cause each time I wanted to respond, I just got fired, How the -bleep- are you?!? But of course, I didn't. I love Jesus and we already worked on my swearing, so even though I was thinkin' it, I just said, I'm fine. Which is true. Because my job was hellish.

And now I can officially sit on my tush for 6 months until I decide what to do next. Yes, friends, I am your tax dollars at work. For now, I took all my vacation pay ( the money they give you for vacation hours you didn't take) and put it in a vacation fund, because it is going to pay for me to go on an actual vacation. And I took care of all my debt management and now I am just besottedly happy to be unemployed. So without any wallowing, a shout-out to Ann, who came and stayed with me for two nights on 15 minutes notice and was the calming presence I needed and helped me to not at all deal with being canned, but really see this as a grand opportunity to make some real changes.

And without further musing-- a LIST:

5 Things That Are AWESOME in My Life Right Now:

1. I feel totally freed from worry about money. I truly believe and feel God's provision. I have never met one of His kids whom He let go hungry, and I honestly believe that He is now and will forever be taking care of me.

2. Millions - a most amazing movie I watched last night. It is seriously in my all-time Top 10 with Shawshank Redemption and Empire Records and Happy Accidents. Get it!

3. Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen. I woke up yesterday morning, the morning after- so to speak, and on Good Morning America, they were interviewing her on this new book. I immediately wanted to get it, and later in the afternoon Borders sent me a coupon for 40% off. Dear Borders, my unemployed and broke-ass self thanks you!

4. Writing. I couldn't get to sleep after this big change in my life, so I tried the pod and that wasn't really working, but writing down the bones helped. I'm trying to figure out how this will be in my future. I know it will be, I just don't know how.

5. Centered. I felt last night for the first time in about 14 months this one strangely good feeling. And the thought that went along with it was: I am in the center of God's will. I haven't felt that way in along time. (Don't worry you party-liners, I know I have been in it, I just haven't felt that way.) Glorious!

So, you want to know what's going on with me?

I got fired. That's what's going on.

Quote of the Night

I don't want to be in love, I want to be in love on a TV show. -Ann

WAR

Except for ending slavery, fascism, nazism and communism, war has never solved anything.

So Long Status Quo

Well, this song is really called Brave, but my favorite part is "Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything...But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings"

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

-Nichole Nordeman

The Top Ten Worst Ice-Breaker Questions of All Time

1. Have you ever been divorced?
2. Have you ever given birth?
3. Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
4. Please list all items you've stolen over $1 in value.
5. Are you a virgin?
6. How many partners have you had?
7. Have you ever been another gender?
8. Are you adopted?
9.
10.

9 and 10 I can't remember. As soon as Eric tells me, I'll post them...

Sunburn

Ouch, I got a really painful sunburn!

In other news, I am getting the latest Nichole Nordeman CD on itunes. I love her.

Ooo...some new things I just love!

So, I know you're supposed to love people, and I do, but there are some new things I've discovered that I just love. And this week was especially hard in the actual life department, so I am choosing to live in denial and focus on the totally trivial aspects of my existence that nonetheless give me totally temporal moments of joy. In no particular order...

1. Wait! Wait!...Don't Tell Me. It's a news quiz call-in show on NPR. I'm not sure when it's actually broadcast in this area, but you can download the podcast for free on iTunes. It is freaking hilarious. Basically what happens is they bring three B-level celebrities or newsmakers on as the panel and the host moderates a quiz where an audience member calls in and is quizzed on news events of the week by the host and the panel commentates and essentially plays Whose Line is it Anyway? during the quiz. They do this all in front of a live audience in some concert hall so you get the added joy of seeing the chops in action. When the news is especially crazy, you get a lot of attitude from the panel, they do impressions, they recite limericks, if you're lucky someone ends up singing and general chaos ensues. I love it!

2. Classical music. There is nothing like an aria or a sonata when life is bringing me to the breaking point. I downloaded this entire album from iTunes called The Most Relaxing Music Ever on Piano. First, I thought it was slow, but once you get slowed down to hear the notes, the music takes on a whole intense life of its own. Second, the entire album of 16 songs was like 5 bucks and some of the songs are 11 or 12 minutes long. I am so loving it!

3. Stock options. I have been living very close to the line financially, but still trying to suck it up as much as possible and sock away some cash into my portfolio. I've almost made back all the money they charged for my first few transaction fees. And that's not a little change. So I've got some cash just sitting out there. If you have any recommendations about where I should invest next, let me know.

4. The sky. Today's sky was the most beautiful I have seen in a long while. Sunshiney. Clear. White puffy clouds. A nice summer temperature, but not too hot. A breeze blowing. Days like today make me not want to go to heaven because I feel like it has come down to me.

5. PJ pants. Because nothing says comfort like PJ pants. And my new ones have palm trees and hibiscuses on them. So fun!

6. Museums. I literally have dreams about museums. Nothing is more stunning to me than a big spare room with white halls and those cool dramatic lights trained on some big painting. I am a fan of most art, but I am partial to artists who paint BIG.

7. Teeth. Yes, this is weird. But I love my teeth. And I love people who have all their teeth and people who smile with all their teeth. White and shiny.

8. TV on DVD. Because I never need to see another commercial again. I already love lots of products and plan to continue using lots of products til I die. But with TV on DVD, I don't have to be forced to listen to commercials endlessly encouraging me to buy things I'm already going to buy or irritating me because they're advertising things I have not and will never buy. I prefer to be left alone to gather my own information, so TV on DVD rocks. When one segment ends, there's this beautiful little black pause and then up comes the next. Lovely. If I had invented TV, this is how it always would have been.

9. Making lists. It's clear, it easy, it puts all your thoughts on one page, and you can stop whenever you like.

What things are you just absolutely in love with?