On gay marriage

Below is my response to an email petition I received a couple of weeks ago.

Thanks for passing this petition.

Whatever you may think of marriage (to a same-sex partner or anyone else), the voters in California have already overwhelming voted to limit marriage to one man and one woman in a landslide vote of 61-39 on Proposition 22 a few years ago. As of now, California voters have already collected over 1.1 million signatures, enough to initiate a constitutional amendment to overturn this most recent ruling of the court. When the voters bring that amendment to the State constitution it will be fairly clear what the will of the people is. So there's no need to continue circulating this email.

That said, if you are over 18 it's important to educate yourself on the issues. Go here for a balanced argument for traditional marriage. First, it's not a religious right-wing issue and as a Christian myself, I wish people would look more closely at the implications it has for society at large. It's not just about "God's will" or stopping nice gay people from committing to each other, this ruling changes how our whole society will function and on what basis we will make people responsible for things. If a father marries his daughter (which this law would allow), he can make you as a tax-payer responsible for the children they produce when she gives them up to foster care (because a 10-year-old girl has no means to take care of a baby); and you will pay for that. Not to mention the social services we will need to take care of her emotional turmoil as a victim of incest. This is what could happen when we open the door to these kinds of laws without thinking critically about how it will play out. Just wanting your nice gay friends (and my nice gay friends) to be able to marry is not enough.

Secondly, The State Supreme Court does not have the right (literally) to overturn the will of the voters. The Governor says he will "respect" the will of the court but if you read his actual statements here you will see that he is abdicating his role as part of the executive branch (that's what we get for electing an actor!) by saying the courts and the voters should decide. Well, the voters have already decided with Prop 22 and if the voters bring an amendment to the State constitution, the Governor should listen to them and consider their voice. If you want to make a difference, the best way is to call or write your elected officials and the Governor and ask them to listen to the will of the people. Because realistically, they will be in office a few short years, but we as citizens will have to live with this decision for a long time.

I'm in favor of people thinking critically about the real outcome before making up your mind. This is an emotionally charged issue, but it's not an issue we should decide based on only emotion. It's about how we live in society and who's responsible for what. This is America, it's advanced citizenship and we need voters who think critically, and don't just respond emotionally.

On Fri, May 23, 2008 at 1:09 PM, (Name and Email Removed) wrote:

Thanks for the support. I have nothing against homosexuals, but it seems that they have problems with laws supporting normal marriages. Once these laws supporting the "normal" marriages, you really don't have much basis to prevent polygamy, bestiality, incestuous and all kinds of multiple partnerships. In countries where such marriage supporting laws have collapsed you have people marrying their cats, dogs, and few people adamant about marrying their own daughters these days.

Peace,
(Name Removed)

On Fri, May 23, 2008 at 3:00 PM, (Name and Email Removed) wrote:

Sorry, I am in support of this law so I won't be signing the petition.

(Name Removed)

On Fri, May 23, 2008 at 11:35 AM, (Name and Email Removed) wrote:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: (Name and Email Removed)
Date: Fri, May 23, 2008 at 1:37 AM
Subject: Fwd: Help me stop the California anti-marriage ruling
To:

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Grassfire.net Services <alert@grassfire.net>
Date: Fri, May 23, 2008 at 12:29 AM
Subject: Help me stop the California anti-marriage ruling
To:


+ + + +
(Name), thanks for signing the petition! Please
forward this message to your friends and ask them to join you.
Thanks again! -- Liberty Counsel
+ + + +


I just signed a petition supporting an emergency suspension of
California's outrageous court ruling that sanctioned homosexual
marriage. Same-sex marriage licenses will be issued by June 15 at
the latest. We have very little time to stop this ruling. Please go
here to sign:

http://www.grassfire.net/189/petition.asp?PID=16628370&NID=1

Ms. (Name Removed)

--
Sola Gratia.
(Name Removed)

I was really unhappy

My friend Ann made the comment a couple of weeks ago that I used to get and quit jobs quite frequently in the interim 4 years between when I graduated from UCI and started at Fuller. After our talk, I was thinking about this statement, because I don't like to be someone who lives life like that. But it's the truth. I think after graduation and until Sept 2007, I had 6 different jobs. Granted, one or two of them conveniently forgot to give me a paycheck, so I was justified in leaving them in the lurch. And one of them I stayed at for 14 months until I started grad school the first time in Fall of 2005. And another I stayed at from Feb 2007 to March 2008, because I liked the company and they were good to me.

But what she said was still hard to hear. I don't want to be a quitter. And I don't think I am in my heart of hearts. I realized the reason I kept quitting is I was really unhappy with my "work life" in that season. And the reason I know I'm supposed to pursue a Master's and potentially a Ph.D. is because school is the only thing that I've ever been passionate enough about to be committed to for the long haul. In undergrad, I had a whole host of things deter me from finishing. I got really sick and had to withdraw for one quarter. I had living situation changes. I worried at times how my tuition would get paid. But I knew I was supposed to do it and I didn't let those things make me give up.

The same is true here at Fuller. In this first year alone, I've moved twice. I had serious roommate drama. I worked 35 hours a week and took full-time classes. I got in a major car accident. The CT scan found a "space" in my brain. I had to have an MRI. I helped coordinate a conference in Anaheim. I went through a lot of frustration being patronized by some male classmates. I took 8am classes four days a week. I ran out of money again and again. And somewhere in there I had to make space to sleep, read, write papers and spend time with my friends. And yet, I'm committed to it. I will finish this Spring's Finals week, I will complete two more years of this and I will graduate. I know it. I know it because turning around and retreating is not an option. I must advance.

And as I thought about my propensity to quit those awful jobs (one of which was, I kid you not, typing voicemails down for 9 hours a day, voicemails from people facing foreclosure, so depressing!) I realized that maybe that was a good thing. I knew in my soul it just wasn't enough. I would never be happy sitting at a desk all week letting my brain rot. I just couldn't do it. And while I had some interesting work at times and lots of nice people at times, it just wasn't me. I knew I was made for more. And I don't know if I'd say this is the more, but it's closer. There aren't as many fun free corporate meals, but it's at least 80% engaging. And we get summer vacation.

Ultimately, it must be what I'm called to, because it's the only thing I won't quit.

Pink trim

Last week my uncle told me that when I was born, my dad painted the trim on our house pink in honor of the occasion.

That is all... and that has made all the difference...

Post #299 holds in store for you 5 unrelated thoughts

1. Yup, I am on the downwardslide toward a miraculous 300 posts. I feel pretty impressive.

2. There are 15 days left until I get on a plane headed to Romania! I've got $775 left to raise by July 20th.

3. I'm going camping this weekend north of Ventura, south of Santa Barbara. They are forecasting a 30% chance of thunderstorms and I'm still bringing the fixings for s'mores. I'm excited!!

4. God is at work on my future in ways that leave me utterly grateful and utterly speechless.

5. I'm so impressed by the things that my college group is doing now. Still faithfully walking with God and serving in some amazing ways. We are talking doctors, lawyers, PhDs and such. I am not sure I'm living up to my promise yet, but I'm honored to be a part of such a stellar group.

Fireworks

kissing
under a sky of fireworks
i've been contemplating
the way i was kissed
recently
it was owed
it was demanded
expected
forced
and for all my resistance
it was done
i hated it
and i didn't say anything

it's not his fault
this is what i do
i feel wrong and i decide it must be right
it must be me
i fixate on the moment
i throw myself in recklessly
without regard
without self
selflessly
until wrong feels right and
right feels numbing
and i can't remember
what i wanted anymore

i allow myself to be consumed
burned up
and
the ashes drift away

if i'm glad i have been lusted after
than never kissed at all
is it wrong or right?
or
is it just
fireworks
it is worse to have been loved well and remember
than to forever dream of what might be
but the bittersweet burn
of hope twice deferred
is ruining me

it used to be
the wanting was simpler
he wanted the possibility of me
the hope of dreams dreamt with me
there was gentleness and trust
i refuse to transact with these lips
they will give only gifts

but the wanting's gotten complicated
its developed a procedure, a method, a plan
a goal
my self
for life
i'm not even sure i would want myself for life
but now he's analyzing
and scrutinizing
am i the perfect prize?

decorate me and i'll dance for you?
purchase my time and possess my body?
my soul doesn't comprehend this
why
i can't live with these lies

i've miraculously won and then painfully lost
all that made my body awake
i dream vividly of
an eleventh hour reprieve
so i remember the burn
and i don't forget to breathe
and just breathing feels all right



"Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I’ve been walking on
All of my days
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it’s just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It’s you I’m looking for
All of my days
Soon I’ll smile
I know I’ll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it’s coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
It’s even breathing
Feels all right"
-Alexi Murdoch, All My Days

the truth about sunscreen

The truth is: It's not about what number SPF you have. 15 or 55 really doesn't matter. It's about having both kinds of sunscreen in whatever bottle you buy. I learned this last summer. One kind is a cocktail of chemicals that deflect the UVA and UVB rays so they can't get in to damage your skin. The other kind is an actual coating barrier, like the zinc oxide people used to put on their noses in the 80s, and it stops the rays like clothing does. The thing is, the chemical kind can get old, which I learned when I put on 45 and got burned last summer. But the coating kind stays good for longer, not forever but about 3 years at least. And the best kind of all has both chemical and coating sunblock, so if one goes bad at least you have a backup.

But you should really replace it every year anyway, just to be safe.

I hate sunburns. Therefore I love Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer DryTouch Sunblock with Helioplex, SPF 55. It smells amazing. Jill gave me some two summers ago when we went to Magic Mountain in July. It changed my life. It costs $10 bucks per tube, but that's what life transformation costs.

I guess the truth really does set us free.