It's you and me, J.

I was just reading this article on the ooze from a guy who kind of barely knew Rich Mullins at Cincinnati Bible College. This entire loooong article is about the miniscule interactions they had and how Rich could never remember his name and when they finally met up and got to connect on a real level, the guy tells Rich his whole long personal story of his journey with God, and at the end Rich has to sincerely ask, "What was your name again, man?"

Fame is so interesting. I haven't met anyone who doesn't want to be famous. And in the absence of fame, we want to be associated with fame. Try this at a party. Ask people to name all the famous people they've ever met. You probably can't name all the people you've shared a meal with, but we can all name the famous people we've met, or famous places we've been. In church they would say this is a search for significance, or a need to be known in community, which rockharbor talked about this past weekend. But I think I have found some significance and I am known in community somewhat, so for me the lesson on fame is that it's not about me and Rich Mullins. It's not about my friend's friend who is an actor on a TV show. It's not about getting seats to see Oprah live. It's not about the time I met a famous actress when I was a kid.

The lesson about fame is that life is about who you know and who knows you, and the most important person to know is Jesus. And the most important person to know you, to see you and be connected with you is Jesus. When I start to hear my own media (especially people analyzing or admiring my faith) and I start to get freaked out by people's expectations of me, I remember that my life is only going to be measured by how well I knew Jesus. It's not the time I spend with prime ministers that defines me, but the time I spend with the one who loves me and knows me intimately. He knows my stress, my pain, my hurts and my joys. He knows what makes me feel loved and what makes me feel betrayed. And whenever I get stuck in an awful pattern of building up someone else's media, He reminds me that I need Him more by having that person let me down. Not that they necessarily doing anything wrong, but I start to feel that my praise for them has over-stayed itself. And rightly so because their humanity cannot hold that kind of worship. Worship is for the one who can receive it and hold it. And a love that is limitless is the best kind of relationship for my heart. I am a needy girl. I need to be consumed with my love for someone and I need that person to see me for who I am and be endlessly in love with me.

Thank you Jesus that you are a heavenly dad who will never listen to my prayers and heart-aches for an hour and then pick up your head and say, "What's your name again?" You know all about what is in my heart and that makes me want to spend more and more time with you telling you what is in my heart. I want to bless you with all the blessing your infinite self can hold.

It's the only networking I need.