Bearing Burdens

Sometimes I remember what it's like to bear burdens.

I carry a really old Toshiba laptop to class every day so I can take notes on it. I carry my regular backpack with my books and binder in it and then I carry my laptop bag with my laptop in it on one shoulder. It is probably 15lbs or more and I was walking with it today when I realized that to other people it probably registers as 5-10 lbs hanging off the end of my hand, but it's heavy enough to be painful to my back and neck. It feels to heavy to me, but it probably looks light to others. Isn't that the way?

I probably wouldn't look at someone and offer them help unless I saw them visibly stagger under the weight of their burden but I realized today as I'm walking that I've gotten pretty good at smiling despite carrying a heavy burden. And not staggering so it doesn't appear as though anything is wrong. I'm a survivor. And not in the thats-my-name-because-I-did-something-impressive way. More in the sense that my default position in life, my position that I set into when things are tough, is that of a survivor.