I'm taking ground

This past weekend I attended The Soul Restoration Project. I also volunteer-coordinated the Resource Table and led a small group. I was really encouraged by the turnout and that we took in enough funds to cover our expenses.

The best part of the conference for me was the final night. The session's topic was moving into the Father's house. This has always been an area where I have felt confusion and loss and God really moved in me, showing me some specific memories that needed to be healed and then showing me how what happened in those wounds was not what God, my true Father, intended. I got a beautiful picture of what God would have done in those situations if His perfect, tender love could have been present. It was powerful.

Since then, I have had just a much more satisfying lightness about me. I feel strong and able to move in the directions I want to move in. I feel confident in my abilities and confident that when I get to a place of desperation or anxiety, I know what to do to invite God into my stresses. It doesn't mean I won't ever feel lost again, but I am boldly stepping forward into dependency. Even though dependency on God is hard for me, I feel like it's the only way I will ever be able to move my heart's home into His house. And it feels like the right move.

I think it also set me up nicely for tonight's Experiment meeting where we are taking a pictorial timeline of our lives and looking at the good and the bad "critical incidents" that have shaped us so far. We are drawing symbols for the seasons of our lives and even though this can be gut-wrenching for me, I know that God will show me what to share how to look through His eyes at my story. I wouldn't say I'm exactly looking forward to it, but I'm confident that He will show up in the process.