Was it just me...?

Or was this Memorial Day weekend pretty exhausting? I think the last four months finally caught up to me, because I took some pretty long naps this weekend. It must be the cumulative effect of sleeping only 5-6 hours for the last 18 weeks.

Anyway, we're going back to an old favorite tonight. My top ten. In no particular order...

The Top Ten Things in My Life Right Now:

1. Karen graduated from medical school. And for a bonus, Kevin drove.

2. The sweet buffet lunch at the Mission Inn on Saturday. Truly scrumptious.

3. I found my "Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr" book.

4. My favorite affirmation from the book: "Regardless of what other people say, my tendency to overreact and lose all perspective makes me a theatrically interesting person."

5. Lemonade.

6. Elizabeth Berg. I haven't been engagingly interested in a writer in a long time.

7. Retreat on Catalina next weekend. I really need a vacation (from my problems!).

8. NetFlix has "watch it now" movies and I can see them even though I put my account on hold. Bee-oo-teous!

9. I'm looking forward to a 3.75 day work week.

10. I'm not tired because I slept 14 hours last night and took a two hour nap today, so I have another two hours to read my book. Score!

And in the pattern of times gone by:
What are the top ten things in YOUR life right now?

I feel like...

I feel like I am not being given any credit for what I've invested.
I feel like I'm being treated as someone unknown, who is not to be trusted.
I feel like my feelings and my struggles don't matter.
I feel like I am being judged on human standards.
I feel like I want my heart to be known.
I feel like we have missed Jesus and people while speeding the train along at 90 mph.
I feel like there have been many words and not one clear vision.
I feel like writing a vision has become the goal.
I feel like I want Jesus' vision.
I feel like we should be pointing one another toward holiness.
I feel like we avoid moving towards discipleship.
I feel like we could be sitting at the feet of Jesus and asking Him which way to go.

I feel like we started with no purpose so it's not surprising
that we ended with no outcome.
I feel continually frustrated with the withholding of information and care.
I feel stagnated in a community not marked by personal relationship.
I feel tired of changing directions again.
I feel stuck in between two hard decisions.
I feel hurt that no one wants to come and stand in my shoes.
I feel alone in the voicing of my needs.
I feel trapped by a commitment made without clarity.
I feel like I am misunderstood.
I feel I am lost in a forest.
I feel disappointed in the method.

I feel like it's more important to check the box "I finished well" than to be myself.
I feel like that's just not in God's plan.
I feel like God is asking me to hold my expectations out and release them.
I feel like He is calling me out of the darkness.
I feel like He is naming me.
I feel like my worth is not dependent on my actions.
I feel like I am seeing clearly.
I feel like I know Him even better than I did.
I feel like His light contrasts my black silhouette of faith.
I feel like His firm hand will light the way.
I feel like He will direct my steps.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

For you now you see as through a glass darkly, but then shall you see face to face. Now you know in part, but then shall you know even as you are known.

the truth about sunscreen

The truth is: It's not about what number SPF you have. 15 or 55 really doesn't matter. It's about having both kinds of sunscreen in whatever bottle you buy. I learned this last summer. One kind is a cocktail of chemicals that deflect the UVA and UVB rays so they can't get in to damage your skin. The other kind is an actual coating barrier, like the zinc oxide people used to put on their noses in the 80s, and it stops the rays like clothing does. The thing is, the chemical kind can get old, which I learned when I put on 45 and got burned last summer. But the coating kind stays good for longer, not forever but about 3 years at least. And the best kind of all has both chemical and coating sunblock, so if one goes bad at least you have a backup.

But you should really replace it every year anyway, just to be safe.

I hate sunburns. Therefore I love Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer DryTouch Sunblock with Helioplex, SPF 55. It smells amazing. Jill gave me some two summers ago when we went to Magic Mountain in July. It changed my life. It costs $10 bucks per tube, but that's what life transformation costs.

I guess the truth really does set us free.

I'm not on board

I am the "not on board" person that we are so concerned about. And I want to be on board but I'm not. And I don't know how to get "on board." I'm trying to remember back to when I was on board and how it felt so I can rustle up that feeling again, but I can't recall what it felt like...

I signed up for a GO trip.