Liars and Cheats

It's weird how even after a long period of time, you can still feel such disgust for the evil that someone has done against you. Tonight, I was perusing blogs of friends of friends and I saw some notes that made me angry all over again about someone who really hurt me. It's the kind of hurt you never get over, where someone just insidiously takes your spirit, holds it in their hand and crushes it. And they never say they're sorry, they just move on, guilt-free. A friend of mine had this kind of crushing blow dealt to her, and even I get to the point sometimes where I can't believe how core the wound goes, and then like tonight, I remember the soul cry of myself when it happened to me. How a part of me was killed and damaged in one day, how the betrayal of the Christ within me will never be fully healed this side of heaven. And I am just sad. Because people will never fully understand why I can't get over it. It's not to be gotten over, it's a knife in my back that will always be there. I've learned to live around it, making do, but the smell of this evil is so pungent, the pride of the abuser so deep, that even now, I feel nauseated when I think of it. I get angry all over again. All over again, I want to scream out to the heavens, that he was wrong. That he misused his power. And the people around me just stare in confusion and pity. But it isn't me who should be pitied, nor him, it is the people who stare, because they will never understand. Their eyes have not been opened, they are asleep. Because when it happens to you, something inside you awakes, and you never forget.