I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. --E. Stanley Jones

Ain't that the truth? As I make plans for my life after graduation, I realize it is SO NOT ME who is in charge of my life and I grateful to the Lord for that. As I make plans for tomorrow, I know that I am useless without His grace and power working in me. And although I often fall short and end up wasting valuable time, I am learning to rest in Him and not be anxious for life to hurry by me. Every moment is a chance to experience life and should never be counted lost, even if I fail, because even in failing I learn how I should make better use of tomorrow. I also learn how to be more accepting of myself and flexible to what crazy things God will do in my circumstances. I wonder why I must wait, but I'm learning that waiting is good and He will use it to strenghten my character.

"...what is the difference in what bruce says and what the Gospel says? bruce says that even if you’re a Christian that God has withheld His blessings from you (the ‘flood-waters of blessing’ as he says) and that He’ll give them to you if you systematically pray this rather obscure old testament prayer. i would challenge that idea and say that if you believe upon Christ for your salvation today, God has withheld nothing from you. in fact, he has already flooded all of the blessing you could ever imagine into your life, and that IS Jesus. He is ALL of the blessing. He is ALL our reward. He is sufficient for all of our needs and we should in Him be satisfied. what more could anyone possibly offer you? if you possess the very righteousness of Christ, which earns for you a share in the inheritance of the kingdom of God as though you were His very son or daughter, what more could there possibly be? what more blessing than His body and blood? what could anyone possibly offer more that Christ has already provided? this prayer does not, and cannot bring us “extra-ordinary favor with God,” only Christ can. if we truly understood and believed the Gospel, we wouldn’t look twice at a teaching like ‘the prayer of jabez,’ because it would have no power and nothing to offer. "
from Derek Webb's site

Sometimes she is just tired
tired of all the synthetic materials
which people use instead of words.

the people lack commitment
they live in a
digital-fantasy world and don't know
their words are promises

they have bought the lie of fantasy
they live within a world they sought only to escape
the harsh gnashing of life

no more wine made of water
no more plastic cheese
she screams, I am a life form!
where are you, O God, do you see?
loving these people you have made
who speak in plastic tones of empty emotionalism
and trade in broken promises
Lord, deliver them.

as you can see, i've been playing with my color scheme and template lately...variety is the spice of life, after all...get your own new duds at webmonkey!!

well, by this time tomorrow i will be free of school obligations...as i count down my last three quarters here, i am beginning to appreciate how awesome and flexible my schedule has been at school. it makes me hate to have to graduate. but i must, because no one's going to pay for me to stay. i think i have done pretty well for myself though. i've gotten good grades and been involved and i'm graduating "With Honors". and i didn't even have to sell my soul to get all that. boy will i miss the free loan deferment and no-class Fridays when i'm gone...well, i'm not gone yet. stay tuned for seasons 2 and 3.

I've been spending some quality time this week with Madeleine L'Engle's website. It makes me want to rework my Christmas list. I've read probably 10-15 of the books listed, but I'm not done yet.

It's finals week again. And here I am back at the grindstone. Sexuality isn't as interesting as they say it is. This paper is taking too long. But after this, I am free. Free till Thursday for my 1 easy final. Life is good.